There were 3 blind friends that had lived together for many years. Each had been blind since birth, so none of the friends had ever seen the world. They knew it only by touch, scent and sound. They lived in a small town and did not venture very far from home. Walking to buy groceries, stopping by the local cafe for coffee, food, and drinks, this was their world. It was a small world, barely more than 10 square miles, but they knew it in great detail. They knew the location of every uneven sidewalk panel, every rose garden, as well as how many steps were between them. Guided by their blindness, they preferred stable, slowly changing environments because when things changed, they tended to trip over them. Although it seems their world was restricted and limiting, their years long friendship was the foundation of their happiness. Living together was a joy because they did not need to explain themselves to each other. Without discussion or dissent, they had not rearranged the furniture for decades. When a chair or carpet needed replacing, they bought one of a similar size, shape, and thickness. Everything was as it should be and the 3 friends liked it that way.
One morning, just after breakfast, they decided to take advantage of the wonderfully warm day and the soft fragrant breeze, and spend a few hours at the coffee shop 4 blocks from the home they shared. While they were laughing together at old jokes and retelling stories all over again, they were startled by a loud blast from an air horn. What was that? As an excited murmur began to rise from the others in the cafe, they decided to make their way outside to find out what was going on. Soon they met a sighted friend who gave them the run down. A circus caravan had stopped in the town for fuel and food. The circus was headed to the distant city for a weekend show, but none of the 3 friends had ever been to that city, let alone experienced a circus. As they spoke to the sighted people, they soon found that the circus included the world’s largest elephant. This excited the 3 friends greatly because they had heard stories of these massive creatures for many years and desperately wanted to find out more about them. After some effort and cajoling of the circus animal keepers, they had arranged a brief visit with the elephant. The elephant had already been led out of her trailer and was stretching her legs in a pole-barn behind the gas station on the edge of town when the three friends arrived. It had taken some time for them to find a friend willing and able to drive them to the gas station where the large animals were kept and the handlers were already packing up to finish the trip to the city hosting the circus. Consequently, the 3 blind friends had only a few precious minutes with the huge animal, but they were grateful for each second spent touching the gentle giantess. The friends chattered excitedly as they made their way back to the car for the return trip to the center of town.
The pleasant weather and gentle breeze encouraged the friends to take their lunch outside. Their experience with the elephant was still fresh in their minds as they sat down in a sunny spot and ordered their meals. “It was so wonderful to finally experience an elephant!”, Ray exclaimed, “I had not expected it to be so flat, thin, and smooth. It was like the finest grade leather had come alive in my hand. Amazing.” Hearing this description, Louis was puzzled. “What are you talking about? The elephant felt like a strong rope or a bullwhip covered in wiry hair! It was thick and rough, not thin and smooth.” Jose shook his head and laughed out loud, “Oh my dear, idiotic, friends you could not be more wrong about the elephant! It was like a large tree trunk with soft, wrinkled bark. Nothing like what you two are talking about.” By the time their food was served, the 3 friends were arguing so loudly that the server had to ask them to tone it down. They responded by storming out of their favorite restaurant without eating even a single bite. After they had left, the cafe owner shook his head slowly, “I’ve never seen them like this. I wonder what has gotten into them?”
The argument continued all the way home and did not end at the front door. The next morning, all 3 awoke with bitter words on their tongues and were soon spitting them at each other. They did not notice the scent of blooming roses wafting from down the street, nor did they hear the sweet song of the migrating birds getting ready to return to their journey because they were so consumed by the disagreement about elephants. That afternoon, each of them made their way to a different place. Louis took a picnic lunch to the park. Ray went to the chain restaurant on the other end of town. Jose returned to the cafe. The owner reminded him that he and his friends had stormed off so quickly the day before, that they had neglected to pay their tab. After a heated exchange, Jose agreed to pay his portion, but steadfastly refused to pay for Ray or Louis. This was the first time in all the years they had lived together that they spent the day without the company of the others. When they returned home, one by one, the argument rolled on and intensified. It spread to every other aspect of their lives together. They fought over the proper place for the chair. They fought over where to place the milk carton in the refrigerator. They fought over whether the new carpet in the hallway was too thin or too thick. Disagreement became the central theme of their home. Three months later, Jose announced that he was moving in with his sister and would live out his life 1000 miles away from Ray and Louis. It did not take long for the other two to make similar arrangements with their respective families. By the time the 1 year anniversary of their meeting the elephant came around, their friendship was over. They lived in separate cities and never spoke to each other again.
Each of us that has seen an elephant knows that each of the 3 friends was both right and wrong. Ray was correct about the elephant’s ear. Louis gave an accurate account of its tail. Jose was right about the elephant’s leg. All of them were wrong because they held their own experience of the elephant as the only acceptable truth. Ray, Jose, and Louis lost their decades-long friendship because they forgot the love and respect they felt for the others. They never stopped to ask themselves whether it was reasonable to conclude that their friends had suddenly become so ignorant and untrustworthy. Instead of working together to figure out how all of them could be correct, they worked on their own to prove everyone else wrong. It was pride and stubbornness that ended their paradise, not stupidity, anger, or misperception. Those of us that can see the whole elephant intuitively understand the error of the three blind friends because we see the relationship between their different perspectives. It is right in font of our eyes. But, can we also understand that our sight may blind us to our own stubborn belief that we have seen the unmistakable truth of an elephant? Do we begin to understand that the disagreement was not about which blind perspective was correct and which was not, rather it was the failure to understand that every perspective is both right and wrong?